For those who couldn’t figure it out from reading (assuming, of course, that anyone reads my blog!), the following is satire:
I’ve had a change of heart. As a victim of the ice storm in Kentucky, at first I sought to place the blame on the Bush administration. The way I saw it, he and Cheney caused the suffering of hundreds of thousands. I mean, anything that was bad in America had to be Bush’s fault: economy, the ‘lost’ war, overcrowding in prisons, late mortgages, flat tires, pot holes… – whatever.
It’s common knowledge that Bush used all of the money he made from Big Oil to contract with Halliburton to create a weather machine. He then used that machine to make Katrina destroy New Orleans and target all the blacks who lived there. I was waiting for someone in the media to make the connection and realize that our ‘president by selection’ had used the same technology to unleash ruin, pain, and suffering on Kentucky in the form of the ice storm. Of course, he did this just to live up to the Prophecy of Biden: that there would be a generated crisis to test our new leader, Messiah, and Deliverer.
How disappointed was I that no news outlet had picked up this story – not even the most trusted name in news? Seriously, a chance to knock W, and they let it slide?!?
Then the light came on. Well, first the power came on and then the light came on. This from American Thinker showed me the error of my logic, and resolved the lingering question of ‘why no news coverage’ all in one fell swoop.
The Chosen One wanted to make an example of a rogue Red State. In a display of force, he secretly stole the weather machine from the evil Bush establishment and created the storm that left so many in the dark and cold. Two purposes were served: 1) BHO showed what happens to states that don’t vote for him 2) he gets to punish white people. What a master stroke! As CEO of America, he orders a freeze (no pun intended) on federal response – FEMA – and leaves us gun-and-religion-clingers to die as a testament to the error of voting Republican.
The Obama was so wise to attack the Red State Kentucky so quickly after his ascension. The evil, stupid Bush gave the Democrats days of warning by opting for a slow moving hurricane. There was no time for the stupid Kentucky Republicans to gather all the school buses, evacuate cities, put up flood gates, check the pumping stations, or even advertise an escape plan. As proof of The One’s brilliant plan, the quote by Kentucky’s governor mirrors the Honorable Mayor Nagin’s famous “biggest disaster” exchange. Totally flat-footed.
Meanwhile, it’s been nearly a week since the first snowflake, and still, FEMA has not shoveled my sidewalk, brought me hot chocolate, given me a generator; FEMA hasn’t even offered to do my laundry or jump-start my car!
Of course there’s been no news coverage of this angle. The One knows that word-of-mouth is much more persuasive than using the polit-bureau for dissemination of veiled threats.
All I can say is, I’ve learned MY lesson. You can bet I’ll vote Democrat next time!
Filed under: Poly-Ticks
